a rush of blood to the head

I woke up at 9 after turning off my alarm.  I freaked out because I was supposed to have left about 20 minutes prior to that.  So I shot out of bed, got ready really quickly, rode the bike to the station and got on the train at 9:17.  My muscles had been shaking like crazy as they always do after riding the bike.  I was really winded and since I hadn’t eaten my stomach wasn’t feeling too great.  So I stood against the door and waited for my body to normalize itself.  It never did and before I got to the first stop I started feeling really dizzy and my vision started blurring.  I prayed that I wouldn’t throw up on the train, and that if I had to throw up that it would be outside.  My body grew really weak and I could hardly keep my eyes open, my head drooped down and my arms hung limply at my sides.  My whole body started feeling very numb and I felt ready to collapse any minute.

Finally we got to the station and the doors I was leaning against opened (I wasn’t leaning against them when they opened, thankfully I had enough awareness to avoid that).  So I decided to get off and I stumbled my way down the platform.  It was very odd though because my vision was very blurry, I was almost blind, everything was very white and I could hardly make anything out.  And my ears were acting strange too, it was like my ears were mega plugged and there was a buzzing sound.  Since I couldn’t really see, it was very difficult to walk to the end of the platform even though I was only a car away.  I could feel myself swaying, ready to faint.  I finally made out a pole and decided that’s where I’d crash.  So I sat down against it and waited.  One of the conductors asked me something in Japanese and though my ears were still ringing I managed to tell him that I didn’t speak any Japanese.  He didn’t speak any English so he got back into his train and rode away.  When the second train pulled up I was still sitting against the pole but I could now see more or less normally.  The conductor got out and asked me something in Japanese.  I again told him that I couldn’t understand but he was able to ask me, “sick?” and I said “yes, very quickly.”  I don’t know what he would have done because after that I got up and slowly walked to the escalators.  After finding that I had gone to the wrong platform, I trudged back up the escalator and caught the local back to Machida.

I’m now sitting in the apartment and I’m feeling much better, but very exhausted.  It’s been a strange morning.


One thought on “a rush of blood to the head

  1. Ok this is gonna be all macho and patronizing and lame, but I wish I’d been there to like, support you and protect you and just sit with you. I know you can take care of yourself but still. The desire’s there.

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