mindful monday: failure and forgetting

I’ve been thinking about my two greatest fears: failure and forgetting.  While Dad and I were chatting this weekend we started talking about documenting our lives.  That’s part of why I love photography so much, it’s a great way to capture moments, and to help jog memories.  I’m also a fan of videos or even just an audio recording.  I think this need to document, journal, take pictures, and videos is driven by a fear of forgetting.  I never want to forget certain parts of my life and the way certain things make me feel.

I also don’t want to fail.  I have a very high standard for myself and failure is really not an option in my book.  I’ve talked a lot about how charmed my life feels, and part of that is the expectation that I will do well and things will “go the way they’re supposed to,” whatever that means.  I hate feeling like I’ve done something wrong, that I failed to do the “right” thing.  While I don’t always like this quality about myself, it has served me well in many ways.  I do pray for a balanced life so that I don’t get so caught up in succeeding that I lose sight of the important things in my life and neglect my loved ones.

Anyway, just some stuff on my mind.

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