shiver

When the one thing I’m thinking
Is the one thing I want to forget

Time waits for no one
It marches on
Regardless of what
It’s marching towards
Sleep is a false escape
Nowhere can I run
One day it will come for me

Here’s hoping
That I’ll stand strong
And not shatter
Under pressure
I’m not a pansy
After all

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past

I’m rarely hit with the inspiration to write poetry.  These four poems are from at least 2 years ago and I’m still proud of them. 

[Untitled]
Eyes unseeing
Ears not hearing
I feel so dead
In this shell of mine

Hollow, empty
Please come save me
You say you’ll help
But I’ll be fine

You try to catch me
Hold my hand
But my eyes are closed
And I’m gone again

I’m slowly fading
I’ll soon be gone
My eyes are closing
Goodbye, the end
_______________

[Fly]
I’m running from myself
Hiding from my pain
Hoping that I’ll win
And in the end I’ll gain

Lose myself forever
Never to return
Captivate my sorrow
May my soul not burn

My time is almost up
The wick is running low
I’ll spread my wings to fly
And up my spirit shall go
___________________

[Up]
Draw me close
Let me go
Keep me young
Help me grow

Give me freedom
Not too much
On my own
But still your touch

This world: so large
And me so small
In your embrace
I conquer all

Mommy’s sugar
Daddy’s tea
Your little girl
I’ll always be
___________________

[Duet]
We sit in silence
Our heartbeats speaking
A language we cannot comprehend
But we understand each other

From my brokenness
You found beauty
From my sorrow
You found joy

Now, as I sing to the heavens
I can smile because I know
You are looking down on me
And singing as well

seeped

There’s something comforting,
beautiful
about lying under the covers
nothing between you and the darkness
lights extinguished inside and out
air and moonlight rushing in
everything hushed
stillness is the rule
captivated by the night
you have no choice but to follow it

Light snaps on and you’re back
plain, old reality

storms

They roll in and out of our lives, sometimes leaving behind destruction that takes much time to heal.  Some are quick, they discharge a few bursts of energy and are gone.  Others take their time, rolling in, building power and then releasing it in slow motion.  Some involve rainbows and even if the present is difficult, there’s a promise of better days that’s easy to see.  But maybe there is nothing but dark, ominous clouds in every direction and it’s hard to see an end to all the sorrow and pain.  On those days you want nothing more than to stay inside where it’s warm and dry, to take sanctuary from the wind and rain.  Perhaps you can avoid the storm for a moment but eventually you have to confront it.  Just remember that while it’s difficult now, the forecast won’t always be so dismal.  Sunny skies will come again.

slumber

I feel the echo of every heartbeat
Each breath growing deeper
As thoughts collide, they are banished
Stress falls away
Problems have no place here
Unreality takes over
I dream of you

me 3

Secrets
You know what I mean
Hush, hush
That’s how we are
But not who

You’ve gone to the moon
Earthbound am I
Don’t forget
To bring me back
A rock

The truck
Doesn’t stop this time
And laughter
It does not ring
Maybe next time

You’re a funny gun
I won’t forget
Even if
Memories fade
This won’t

Cling to hope
That tomorrow will come
Someday
Until then
It’ll be okay

stupid truck

. . .grr. . .

But anyway, while driving to Target tonight I couldn’t get over how amazing the sky looked.   There were so many clouds and they were all lined with soft pink light that faded to wonderful shades of blue.  This was the best picture I could get.  Which of course can’t capture the amazingness of the real thing.  But I take what I can get.

twilight falls. . .

. . .
Throw open the windows and doors
Let the house breathe
Feel the wind whistling through your hair
And the darkness descends
But not the despair
Say goodbye to the day
Embrace the night
As it carries you through
Silence envelops and seeps into your pores
Don’t fight it
You are a creature of the night
Nothing can touch you now

if everyone had a Scotty

Today during the car wash, Scotty came up to me and wrapped his little arms around my waist.   He looked up at me with the biggest smile and told me excitedly he and his family were leaving for Catalina Island today.  After talking for a bit he gave me another huge hug and said, “I wish I could see you everyday.”  And my heart melted.

step up

Tonight Glen led practice.  And I had a lot to say.  A.Lot.  I felt very…bossy (?).  It’s definitely a nice feeling to finally be confident in myself, not afraid to sing out and speak up.  But in some cases it scares me, hearing the sound of my own suggestions.  Sometimes I feel like I’m being too picky and controlling.  Glen did tell me that my suggestions are always welcome which helped a little bit.  I can’t help but feel that I’m being selfish sometimes though.

Oh well.  If I were completely satisfied with who I was, I wouldn’t feel the need for God.